Psychologists and relationship experts have spent years studying the science of infidelity, turning up surprising insights into what different couples consider cheating, how they react to cheating, and how they bounce back after someone strays. Read more: 21 simple social skills that will make you instantly more likable. We looked into some of that research and pulled out the most compelling results.
Read on to see what we found — and how you can apply these findings to your own relationship. A study of about 2, people between ages 18 and 32, published in the American Sociological Review, suggests that a person who is completely economically dependent on their spouse is more likely to be unfaithful. That's especially true for a man who relies financially on a woman.
Women are also less likely to cheat the more money they make relative to their spouse — but their cheating rates don't seem to go up at any point.
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For a study , published in the journal Personal Relationships, men and women read about hypothetical scenarios in which their partner had sex with someone of a different sex or the same sex. When researchers asked participants how they would feel about it, the men were more likely to be angry and more inclined to end a relationship if their partner cheated with someone of a different sex.
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But they were more likely to be aroused if their partner cheated with someone of the same sex. Women also said they'd feel more negatively if their partner cheated with someone of a different sex. But they'd be more inclined to end the relationship if their partner cheated with someone of the same sex. A research published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology found that most heterosexual men say they'd be more upset if their partner was having a sexual relationship with someone else but hadn't fallen in love with that person.
Most women, on the other hand, say they'd be more upset if their partner had fallen in love with someone else but hadn't had sex with that person. In , researchers looked at activity on Ashley Madison, a dating site for people who are already in relationships. They came to a fascinating conclusion, which was published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The men studied were more likely to seek extramarital affairs when their age ends in the number nine.
In other words, right before they hit the big or , they have a greater chance of trying to find meaning in life by having a relationship with someone who isn't their partner. The researchers observed a similar, but smaller, effect among women, according to The Wall Street Journal. A growing body of research suggests that certain people are more likely to be unfaithful, depending on their biology.
For example, one study from the University of Queensland, published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, found that infidelity was more common among people who had specific types of oxytocin and vasopressin receptor genes. As Richard Friedman, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, explained in The New York Times , vasopressin is a hormone related to social behaviors including trust, empathy, and sexual bonding.
Gary Neuman , who developed the " Creating Your Best Marriage " video program, told Business Insider that it is possible to save your relationship after one partner's been unfaithful. But there are certain guidelines to follow after the infidelity's been discovered, according to Neuman, including:.
Reasons Why Married People Cheat
The cheater has to feel some remorse and want to change their life. The victim has to make sure the cheater has completely stopped cheating. Photos Add Image Add an image Do you have any images for this title? Learn more More Like This. Black Coffee I Comedy Romance.
His emotional needs aren't being met
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Genres: Comedy. Language: English. Color: Color. Add the first question. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report this. Edit page. Clear your history. IMDb Everywhere. That can mean sexual needs — but it often means someone's emotional needs aren't being addressed. If expressing needs and desires is difficult for him, it may be time for him to explore why with the help of a therapist. Because of that, they want a woman who will make them feel young and like they're at their prime again," Sherman says. Walfish concurs that a man may simply be trying to puff up his self esteem.
Some people really do feel that they can't be in monogamous relationships. And they might be telling you the truth, they might not be cut out for monogamy," Nelson says. You can explore the possibility of opening up your relationship , which is what some people do after affairs, Nelson says. But, there's a catch.
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Watson says that plenty of ethical people cheat…and that they recognize that it's bad. That doesn't mean it's easy to forgive them. The path to healing is reliant on a few key things: true, authentic, genuine remorse, and a man taking ownership of his actions, says Walfish.
A key word she emphasizes is "accountability. It's also important to figure out whether the man is just sorry for how he feels or for how his life has been affected, or because it truly hurts him to see his partner hurting. Nelson says that post-affair, people either "make up," "break up," or "wake up. Will the cheater acknowledge his partner's devastation and empathize with the hurt he caused?
Many couples do continue to work on their marriage after the affair and decide to go to couples therapy for help earning back trust, improving communication and intimacy, and creating a shared vision going forward.
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