However, I told my wife I was sexually attracted to her best friend who I have known for 14 years. Nothing has happened between us, but whenever I see her, I feel I want more.
My Wife is in Love With Her Best Friend’s Husband
I have also never had any discussion with this woman about my feelings. I have now been effectively forced to leave the family home. Bloke, via email. What on earth were you thinking? It is not unusual for men and women to admire or think of other people as sexually attractive. But you need to reflect a little deeper on the motivations for your conversation.
What were you hoping to achieve?
I fucked my wife and her best friend together-1
Did you truly think she would embrace the conversation that you are turned on by her closest friend? Think about it from her perspective because you have demonstrated little empathy. For any reconciliation with your wife, your tasks are twofold. Firstly, engage in some critical self-analysis. Are you emotionally dishonest and used the disclosure as leverage against your wife? Secondly, your wife will need to really understand your feelings and motivations. That will only come with you answering the first task. This includes the apartment being tidy, dressing the right way, always doing things for others even if inconvenient for both of us and she is generally very demanding on herself.
I am finding it very tiring to live with, but also want her to relax more and not feel so put upon. I made sure my wife knew every time I was emailing her, and I offered to let her read our emails back and forth if she wanted. And this is all without either one of us EVER having had an affair! Just the opposite! The fact that we keep everything transparent and above-board allows us to trust each other even more!
Surprise, surprise, this excerpt just so happens to be taken from the part of the course that discusses emotional affairs. Just the opposite — the fact that we keep everything transparent and above-board allows us to trust each other even more! I had close platonic female friends before I was married.
Wife asked me to sleep with her best friend
You probably did too. Heck, my wife and I were close friends for years before we started dating. Generally, that means:. Okay, getting back to your question…That whole explanation was a really long way of saying, your wife IS having an emotional affair and her friendship has strayed too far. The sad truth is that a marriage cannot be fixed as long as one spouse is stuck in an affair.
No change that you or your wife makes during an affair will be able to have a positive, lasting effect on the relationship as long as her heart belongs to another man. The only thing you can do — focus on what you can control. Right now, your goal is to make yourself into the best husband, father and leader that you can possibly be. The only reason she strayed in the first place is because she no longer felt that she could find that happiness in the marriage.
So, she took matters into her own hands, and when this other man came along, she saw an opportunity to be happy and she took it.
You should move on, prepare yourself for the worse; take the direction of your life and the growth of yourself as a man into your own hands. There are no guarantees, but this puts you in as much of a win-win position as you can get into right now. By focusing on yourself and mentally preparing yourself to move on and be happy without your wife, you simultaneously prepare yourself for the worst AND optimize your chances of getting the best, ie.
This piece of advice comes from a guy named Kurt whose wife had an affair. At one point, she was just as dead-set on divorce as your wife is now. Over the course of a year, he managed to turn things around. When I asked him if he had any advice for other men in a similar situation, this is what he said:.
- Me, My Wife, & Her Best Friend;
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- Should a Married Woman Have a Man as Her Best Friend? | Psychology Today.
Women typically only follow this course for one reason: neglect. They also find it very difficult to love more than one man, so you have to earn her affections back from someone else.
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As men, we are fortunate that if we can use your philosophy, our wives will never feel neglected and therefore never stray. Or, if we have cocked it up already, we can use your tactics to change the trajectory of our marriage and win her heart back completely. This is not true for women whose husbands stray. The unfaithful husband will most likely love the other woman all of his life.
All that to say, men should never worry about whether or not she is on-board.
We can change our marriages with or without her initial buy-in, and once she comes back, she'll be back for good as long as you don't let that neglect creep in again. This ended up being a long one. Let go of control over your wife, and start genuinely preparing for a life without her. Your marriage cannot heal while she remains in the emotional affair, and you cannot force her to break out of it, so stop trying.
Wife asked me to sleep with her best friend
Force yourself to grow into the man you know you are meant to be. Get to a point where you can be happy with yourself regardless of what happens in your marriage. Your goal is to make yourself into her indisputable best option; into the best husband you can be, not for her benefit, but for yours.
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